Praise the Lord for the opportunity to see November. This month’s theme is Rethink. I encourage husbands and wives to rethink their marriages, as well as spinsters and bachelors before they embark on the marital journey. Remember the moment you say “I do”, as a genuine believer, there is no going back. Although some so-called ‘believers’ may not stay apart from their spouses for years, emotionally, they live apart. They only come together once in a while when the man feels like having sex.
I will start with the single sisters and brothers this time around. Rethink and marry your friend. Three-quarters of married couples do not marry their friends and therefore, find it very difficult to communicate, relate and play together. This is unfortunate because they will both suffer but the woman tends to suffer more because she is more emotional. Your friend is not someone you make love to once in a while, but someone you share your secrets with, someone you miss when he or she is not around, someone whose pains you feel when they are hurt, someone you are proud of. Not someone you do not want beside you at a party or function. All of these 3-month, 6-month, and 9-month relationships that lead to marriage seem weird. However, some couples have been very lucky to court for only 5 months and their marriages have been blissful. Nevertheless, this is an uncommon trend. Be patient. Do not be in a haste to get married that you do not wait for the brother or sister who will treat you well, because you could wind up lonely later in life. Rethink.
To married women: Though you have made the mistake of marrying someone whom you later discovered disrespects, is unfaithful, disloyal, uncaring and unloving to you; what do you do? How can you rethink or address this situation? Your next step my dear sister should be to put God first. Matthew 6:33 says we should seek Him first, even after our mistakes. I feel your pain and understand your plight, it is not easy to be in this situation but please, rethink. You are still alive. The man may be disloyal, unfaithful and uncaring, but, think about it, if you lose your life, he would start sleeping with another woman even before your burial. Do you believe in the course of my counselling? Some sisters have narrated how their husbands have said to their faces that they regrated marrying them and wished that they can do something about it. Can you imagine this? Sisters and brothers, please whenever you have issues, watch what you do or say, your reaction reveals your thoughts and desires. Misunderstandings tend to reveal your innermost feelings.
Secondly, love yourself. Take very good care of yourself. Remember, in some of our past editions, I mentioned that you will be at a loss and regret it if you are idle. Even if you are married to the wealthiest man on earth, if he is not your friend, a genuine child of God and you are not working, you are in trouble. This is because we women need money to take very good care of ourselves. It takes a man with understanding to know this, unfortunately, some of them push more responsibilities on you, and in the end, you will have to start begging people for money. So, make sure you find something to do. This will help you take care of your little personal expenses and the children’s too. However, I am not saying that you should take up your husband’s responsibility because God said he should provide for the family.
Thirdly, please be very prayerful because if you are wise and rethink, you will know that even if you have married someone whom you do not love genuinely, after some time living together, you will grow to understand and love each other. This is possible as long as you are genuine children of God and there are no evil forces at work. So, pray. Luke 1:37 says with God nothing shall be impossible.
And lastly, to our men, please rethink being mean, carefree and not taking care of your wife because actions like these will hinder your prayers according to the Bible. Writing a fantastic tribute after killing your wife with your carefree and mean attitude is useless. So is giving her a befitting burial. Those women you appreciate outside have had someone work on them, sent them to finishing school and established them. The saint outside can become a devil when she later marries you. Instead, work on your wife and pray with her, because when you pray together, you will stay together. Your wife and children should be your priority before any member of your family. Whatever you have not or cannot do for them must not be done for your family because when the chips are down, the family you see today will push you back to your wife and children. Rethink.