BALANCE HOME AND CAREER 4

Helpful tips and steps for every working woman towards being more organized.

4. MAXIMIZE YOUR TIME: If you work full time, hire outside help to keep up your house and not your home, because you need the extra time for your family. Be a Total Woman and not a ‘super woman,’ who wants does everything. This leads to a stressed out woman who is not a joy to be around. I have tried it and ended up on a side bed. If you are unable to afford hiring someone to help clean your house, schedule a day or evening every week or twice a month when you can get the basics done such as cleaning the toilets, doing the laundry, dusting and mopping the rooms. Once you are able to achieve this, you would not be too reliant on hired helps because you are now able to do it yourself.

This principle also works well when you are planning for the holidays. In my case, I try to have everything finished for Christmas by December 1st, this way I have time to enjoy the season, go to parties, school errands and church functions without the added stress of trying to get ready for Christmas. Here is a useful secret for you, identify the hardest and most stressful part of your day and create a plan to ease or change it (if you can). When you are able to apply this amendment to your schedule, you will be able to do so much more. I’m an example of this. In my own case that stressful task is laundry, so I planned with a dry-cleaning outfit, who takes care of it and I pay them what is not too much for me to handle. Your day will go more smoothly if you take some stress out of it. Remember, when you make a task easier, you don’t just save time you make your life better.

5. CHANGE YOUR HOUSE INTO A HOME: Changing your house into a home can be one of the most fulfilling goals for a woman to achieve. Even if you are not the type of person who likes to clean, you probably love the warm feeling you get when you welcome your family and friends to your home. Just think about Christmas or the birthday of any member of your family. When my home is full of good food, beautiful decorations and loved ones, I have a true sense of contentment and fulfilment. My goal is to have this same kind of contentment in my home every day. It takes work, time, effort and wisdom to achieve this in our home. Titus 2:5 encourage us to be “sensible pure, workers at home.” This verse is an encouragement for us because it shows the Lord’s desire for us as wives and homemakers to be hard workers in our homes. In fact, the Psalmist said in Psalms 127:1, “unless the Lord build the house, they labour in vain who build it.” In other words, we need the Lord to help us build our homes and if we follow his guidelines, we will succeed with this goal.

BALANCE HOME AND CAREER 3

Helpful tips and steps for every working woman towards being more organized.

1. Find the Right Job: You need to work. Find a job where you can use your talents, something you would like to do even if you have very young children. First, take a look at your options; a full-time or part-time job. Although with a part-time job, you will not make as much money as you would at a full-time job. The few years at home invested in your children will reap tremendous rewards, so consider something you can do from home such as book keeping, secretarial services, selling goods or services from your home. Beauty companies such as Mary Kay, beads and hat making, make-up and so on are all examples of home-based businesses that have made many women successful from the comfort of their homes. If you have an entrepreneurial spirit, then start your own business. Women are earning money from selling their own crafts, fashion, performing desktop publishing or graphic design, telemarketing etc. You may also consider working at a school. Once children are in school, many women become teachers or aides. They are home in the afternoons and on school breaks with their children. If you need to work and your children are in school, think about jobs that allow you to be home in the afternoon and during school breaks.

2. Keep a Right Attitude: Be excited with the journey of life. It is easy to start thinking that everything is too hard and there’s just too much to do. This is a mistake I make too often. If you feel life is too hard, ask yourself – ‘What is missing? What is wrong?’ Ask God to help you refocus on the life he has given you and to find the joy. When you are at home, don’t feel bad about not being at work. Leave office problems at the office, so you will be 100 percent available to your family when you are home. Keep your life balanced as you possibly can.

3. Be Realistic with Your Goals: Remember you cannot do it all. Break the pattern of doing too much. Recognize your limitations and try to delegate more. Asking for help is not weakness, it is sensible management. Think of yourself as the organizer of your day. Plan when you can do certain tasks so you won’t be overwhelmed when it’s time to go home. Balance your tasks between priorities and demands. I define priorities as those things that are important to you which you want to do while demands as those things that are important to someone else which you feel you should do. However, doing only what you want (priorities) is selfish while doing only what others want (demands) is unendurable.

BALANCE HOME AND CAREER 2

In today’s world, balancing financial needs with a child’s emotional well-being is complex and may require tough choices. I have no right to tell you whether you should stay at home or leave for work. I can only encourage you to find something to do. This is a decision for you and your husband to make and as a choice it can make a woman to feel very guilty. Each woman needs to ask the Lord what is best for her and her family. And if you are a single mother, staying at home with the children is not a likely option, and my heart aches because you are likely the sole provider for the family.

However, in homes where the husband is able to provide for the family and the children are pre-schoolers, the wife should stay at home to nurture the children. While doing this, she can engage in a side business that would not hinder her child-nurturing responsibilities. As a result, the family will reap tremendous benefits in later years.

I have a hard time when I see mothers who don’t need to work, but do so for extra material comforts. As unpopular as this perspective may be, I feel compelled to say it – “mothers should put their children’s best interests before their own.” If that means a career has to be put on hold or the old car needs to be driven another four years, so be it. Children are not acquisitions. They are precious human beings who need parents guiding them every day. A Day-Care Centre used daily will never offer them the care, instructions, security and love that a parent can. Even a good house maid cannot be as good as you are to your children. If you are struggling with this, sit down and review exactly how much money you have left after deducting Day-Care, After-School, dry-cleaning and housemaid bills.

I have talked to a lot of women who realized that they were making only a small income after all these deductions. These mothers also noted that they would save money from fewer hospital visits if their pre-schoolers were at home more, spend less on takeout food and stress relieving activities.

What can we learn from the Proverbs Woman?
“She considers a field and buys it from her earnings, she plants a vineyard” (Proverbs 31:16).
This “Total Woman” is also an entrepreneur.

A “Working Woman” who wants to increase her family’s wealth and is always on the lookout for things to do. She first thinks through her purchases, then buys from her own earnings because her husband doesn’t give her money. She has learned how to save. But what type of “job” is this? She is working to help her family and this work is probably next to her house, so she really has a “house-based” job. She buys a vineyard because grape raisins are important products for a Hebrew family. During the months of September and October, the fresh ripe grapes are eaten along with bread as one of the principal foods while other grapes are dried in a corner of the vineyard, sprinkled with olive oil and stored for winter use. Raisins were widely used as well. The Hebrew people would take the juice of grapes, boil it and eat it with bread.

SPEAK OUT PART 4

6. INSENSITIVITY
Many wives are not aware of what is going on around them; they refuse to give importance to happenings. They are spiritually asleep. Spiritual insensitivity is the undoing of many. The Bible says, “Wherefore he saith, awake thou that sleepest, and arose from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light” (Ephesians 5:14).
A lot of things happen per time, so seek fresh encounters with God. Seek for fresh anointing per day, update yourself and seek progress continuously. Remember the word of God says, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16). God’s faithfulness is great and they are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23).

7. STUBBORNESS
Surprisingly, some wives actually know that they need help in certain areas, they also know how to call for help; but they just would not, due to stubbornness. The biblical truth on this subject comes very clear, it states: “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king” (I Samuel 15:23).
Stubbornness and idolatry are rated equally scripturally. It is a terrible sin which makes God reject you, and it ultimately destroys! Shouldn’t you run from it? You shall not be destroyed via stubbornness in Jesus name. King Saul knew he sinned against God and needed help but he did not call for it, may be because he wanted to keep his reputation before men. He turned deaf ear to divine instruction and he lost his throne as king.

8. FRUSTRATION
Some wives do not call for help even when they know they need one due to frustration. Their past efforts and plans seem not to have been able to achieve their desired goals. They have tried all they seem to know but none worked. So, they are reluctant to seek any further help. Please bear in mind the fact that there is no situation that is hopeless. Naman, the centurion leper, had sought for various helps but the leprosy remained. When he finally goes to the place of help in Israel, he almost missed it as a result of frustration. He said: “… Behold, I thought, He will surely come out to me, and stand, and call on the name of the Lord his God, and strike his hand over the place, and recover the leper. Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? May I not wash in them, and be clean? So he turned and went away in a rage” (2 Kings 5:11 -12).
But thank God for his servant who told him: “… My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some great thing, wouldest thou not have done it? How much rather then, when he saith to thee, wash, and be clean?” (2 King 5:13). Usually, the enemy brings frustration when you are closest to your help. You will not be frustrated out of your help zone in Jesus name.

SPEAK OUT PART 3

4. IGNORANCE
This is lack of knowledge, understanding or information about something. It is another major reason why many wives keep to themselves, dying inside! Little wonder the Bible says: “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children” (Hosea 4:6).
To be destroyed in this context means to be robbed of honor and dignity. For you not to be robbed of dignity and honor as a wife, you must shun ignorance and go for knowledge. The truth that you know is the one that can make you free! This explains why the scripture says: “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:23). Remember, what you don’t know may be what is killing you. Inadequate information about a particular situation can pose a problem. Uzzah’s death in 2 Samuel 6:7 could be seen as ignorance. Perhaps, he was not adequately informed that no one should touch the ark of God, but he did and was punished. “And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzzah; and God smote him there for his error; and there he died by the ark of God.”
After this incidence, the ark was properly carried and they were all blessed. You will not be a scape goat for others to learn from in Jesus name. Crave for knowledge, be adequately informed and do not die in silence through ignorance.

5. LAZINESS
This is another reason why some keep mute rather than open up, until they die in silence. A lazy person is slow, too relaxed, not willing to work and put effort into anything; therefore he is prone to all manners of harassment. The Bible says: “Not slothful in business; fervent in spirit, serving the Lord” (Romans 12:11).
Many wives are so lazy at so many things. Lazy in prayer, reading books, reading the bible and even in relating to other senior ministers. Wake up from your slumber and begin to put more effort into life so it can deliver its best to you! Read with me this most revealing episode about the field of the slothful in Proverbs 24: 30-34: “I went by the field of the slothful and by the vineyard of the man void of understanding; And, lo, it was all grown over with thorns, and nettles had covered the face thereof, and the stone wall thereof was broken down. Then I saw, and considered it well: I looked upon it, and received instruction. Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man.”
Laziness manifests in procrastination. ‘I will do it later’ or ‘next week’, before long, a year is gone and the situation still remains. Deal with procrastination today because it usually graduates to laziness.

BALANCE HOME AND CAREER

A close look at Proverbs 31:16-24 tells you that she considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyards. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies belts to the tradesmen.

One upon a time, there was a young couple who were blessed with the birth of their first child. Because they loved this child so much, they wished that the wife could stay home and raise the child. But the bills still needed to be paid. So the wife went out and found the perfect job. She could arrive at work by 10am and leave at 2pm, and she was paid as though she was working full time! She could keep nursing and she could be home every day in time for his nap. While the baby napped, she was able to cook a delicious meal, wash and iron the clothes, clean the house and still have time to get herself beautiful before her husband came home. After playing with their child together, they would tuck him into bed and then have a wonderful conversation over the excellent candle-lit dinner she had prepared in their clean and well organized home.
So how did you like this story? Well “story” is the accurate word because it is a fairy tale.
Real life does not look like this as I think we would all agree. Wouldn’t it be great if everything just checked along as effortless as in the story? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if women of today could keep their homes running perfectly, their children growing into hard-working young adults who never argued with their parents, their husbands happy and able to bring in an income with hardly extra effort at all? I wish it could be like this, especially for single mothers but the fact is, we can’t do it all or have it all. I have to admit addressing the topic of women working is a challenge. Women are pulled in so many directions in today’s world. The expectations placed on women today far exceeds those from any other time in our history.
In the past, I know of a woman, my mother’s friend, when she was raising her first three children. She didn’t even have a car. Most families had just one car, that was for the husband to use to work, she didn’t have the health club commitment or weekly women’s meeting that we have in our life today. She took care of her family and loved every minute of it. Probably because she didn’t have other things pulling her apart in different directions.
Today, women are bombarded with opportunities and pressures to have career, to “be somebody”. But whenever the world tells me to do something that is when I need to open God’s word and see what it has to say about the roles of women in the workplace and in the home.
Titus 2:5 (NIV) says, “to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
The scripture above encourages women to be sensible, pure workers at home, kind, and being subject to their own husbands that the word of God may not be dishonoured. I believe this concept of loving and dutiful to our families as a way of honouring God is the principle that flows through Proverbs 31.

 

GET IN SHAPE (PART 2)

Look for activities you can enjoy throughout the year like fitness classes, tennis, golf and swimming. Find an activity per time that makes your life full, enriching and alive.
The rewards of a healthier you are worth time and effort. Use your muscles to keep your whole body strong. If you are unable to go outside to exercise, use the stairs in your house. Run up and down them or exercise to a video. Every bit of exercise helps, even bending down when getting something out of a low cabinet or doing leg lifts while on the phone can help to keep you in shape.
I have some friends who choose to do their house chores themselves. Don’t just sit down at home allowing your housemaid or people living with you to do all the work, get involved and stay healthy.
Eat properly every day for energy. Food is the fuel our bodies need, and making the right food choice will keep us going. For some people losing weight or keeping weight off is almost impossible. I don’t mean to minimize this hardship, so I suggest going to a weight-loss professional who would work with you.

Here Are Some Basic Helpful Tips For Weight Loss
1. Dieting isn’t necessary, instead concentrate on eating the right foods. Stay away from fatty foods and eat plenty of fruits, vegetables and grains.

2. Try to eat three or four small meals a day instead of one or two larger meals.

3. Never skip meals or else your body will try to compensate for it and hold on to food for much longer than necessary.

4. Do not eat at fast food restaurants unless you can order something healthy. It’s best not to go there at all.

5. If you love chocolate or sweets, choose one kind and have a small piece; but the best is to do away with sweet things altogether because they make you go bigger.

6. Be aware of high energy foods. These are often quick and convenient, and can keep you going through a hectic day. Remember, as you are going through your day, to drink lots of water as we all need at least eight glasses of water daily. Water helps the conditions of your skin, aids digestion and helps you to control your food intake. Carry water bottles in your car or purse at all times and drink.

7. Learn to control the stress in your life. Make time your friend and not your master. Learn to say ‘No’ to the unimportant and ‘Yes’ to the important.

8. Learn and practice deep relaxation. Just taking a deep breath can take away some stress. Listen to music when caught in traffic or use that time to pray instead of worrying. Another thing you can do is to always carry a book with you so that you can read while waiting on a queue. Finally, always meditate on happy things.

SPEAK OUT – PART 2 (continued from Dec. 2017)

Pride, in most cases, is the reason why many do not seek for help when it is most needed. Pride is a destroyer; it has destroyed many great destinies, don’t let it destroy yours.
The Bible categorically says: “Pride goeth before destruction and an haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).
Do not let the devil deceive you to make you think that you are so ‘anointed’ and therefore you can handle all challenges yourself. Nothing can be farther from the truth! Open up and ventilate your life for greater productivity and effectiveness. The bible says one shall chase a thousand and two shall put ten thousand to flight (Deuteronomy 32:30). What you are passing through might be more than what you alone can ‘chase’. It is not a shameful thing to open up to those who can be of help. Stop making excuses for things that are going wrong, having every reason in the world and explanation for why things are not the way they should be.
2. MAKING EXCUSES
Making excuses for things that are going wrong is another reason why many suffer in silence. Jesus told a parable how a certain man made a great supper and invited many to come. Despite the fact that all things were ready, they all made excuses and did not attend. The bible says: “And they all, with one consent began to make excuses” (Luke 14:18).
The master of the house was angry with them and brought in others to take their places; due to excuses. Your place in destiny shall not be taken by another!
Abigail is an example of a wise woman as recorded in the bible (1 Sam. 25: 14-28). She could have used her husband’s foolishness as an excuse not to be liberal and that would have resulted to a blood bath in her home. Instead, she opened up:
“Let not my Lord, I pray thee; regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my Lord, whom thou didst send. Now therefore, my Lord, as the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the Lord hath withheld thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and thy seek evil to my Lord, be as Nabal” (1 Sam. 25: 25-26).
Stop making excuses for things that are going wrong, having every reason in the world and explanation for why things are not the way they should be. Instead, be a woman of wisdom, take action, make a move and seek help.
3. PRETENCE
Pretence is behaving in a way that is intended to deceive people. Pretence is what the bible calls Hypocrisy. Jesus was always against Hypocrites. Speaking about this, the bible says: “Unto you, Scribes and Pharisees, Hypocrites for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within Woe they are fall of extortion and excess” (Matt 23:25).
Stop covering up! Do not pretend that things are going on the right way when you know it is not. Who are you deceiving? Do you want to live in deceit all your life? Stop consoling yourself with the fact that it is so with everybody. You’ll be surprised that you are the only one left, still caught in the web of pretence; others have left! Wake up and begin to take action. Be open and sincere with yourself. Pretence is costlier than you think. When you pretend, you make a fool of yourself. In actual fact the person you are trying to impress through pretence might knows you more than you think.
When Jesus met that Samaritan woman beside the well, she appeared to be religious and she wanted to make Jesus feel that all was well with her (John 4:4-18). But, one revealing question from Jesus broke down her wall of pretence. The bible says: “Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy Husband, and come hither” (John 4:16).
Do not wait until your ball of pretence is punctured. Sit down and write those areas where you know that you need help and prayerfully begin to take action. Are you being faced with loneliness? Do you feel you are not giving your children adequate attention? May be your problem is finances or it has to do with ill health; don’t keep it to yourself.
There is no wisdom in dying in silence. Open up and give more meaning to your life