The third level of vibrancy is called the Devitalized Marriage. This is the marriage every wife should watch out for. This marriage was once vital or even vibrant but has now become cold, dull and uninteresting. It is a marriage that has lost its taste according to Luke 14:34, “Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its flavour, how shall it be seasoned?” When the marriage becomes cold, a good wife who cares about her home is meant to do something about it. It is sad to note that many couples within the body of Christ at this point start engaging themselves outside of the home. Some people who seem to be committed to the work of God are only doing so to run away from their home. If the home is still exciting, you will balance your commitment to it and the church. At this level, I expect the woman to bring to bear her gift of intuition. Every woman is endowed with this power of lightning-fast inner-seeing, inner-hearing, inner-sensing and inner-knowing. But how many women bring it to fore in their marriage? The modern woman is so engrossed in making money that leads to power struggles with her husband that she reduces everything to logic as men do.
Fourth is the Passive Marriage. Sadly, this marriage has never been vibrant, so it is difficult to say it has gone cold. It is often a marriage of convenience where the partners are happy with its coldness. This is sometimes the result of people getting married to the available person rather than the desirable. Sometimes the partners may be in love with someone they are unable to marry like a married man or an older woman, hence their settlement for a socially acceptable person deemed just fit enough for partnership. This sort of marriage also makes the husband vulnerable to the strange woman. I say this because I have observed that women particularly in the church easily adjust to this sort of marriage and are happy without seeking outside satisfaction. However, some couples are engaged in parallel marriages outside of their home. Such parallel marriages are in the form of commitments to someone or something outside the marriage that makes up for their marital expectations. These attachments come in diverse forms such as the strange woman, man, work, hobby or other engagements which are sought to minimize the effect of the inadequacy in the marriage. Unfortunately, some spouses hang around other men or women in the church believing they are not engaged in an affair because they are not having, yet there are fonder of this man or woman than their spouses.
Finally, we have the Conflict-Habituated Marriage where conflict is part of the couple’s life. Though many marriages are happy in this state; if at all they break, it would neither be surprising nor shocking. The Bible says in Proverbs 17:1 “better is a dry morsel with quietness than a house full of feasting with strife.” Just because your marriage is existing does not mean it has life in it. A loveless marriage is a lifeless marriage, living but dead. And it exposes your husband to the strange woman.